Burns: Smithers. Smithers: Hm? Burns: Turn on the surveillance monitors. Smithers: Yes sir! Burns: Hm. It's worse than I thought.
Burns: Each morning at nine, They trickle through the gate; They go home early; They come in late.
Reeking of cheap liquor, They stumble through the day; Never give a thought To honest work for honest pay.
I know it shouldn't vex me, I shouldn't take it hard, I should ignore their capering With a kingly disregard.
Burns But, look at all those idiots, & Ooh, look at all those boobs. Back: An office full of morons, A factory full of fools. Is it any wonder, that I'm singing, Singing the blu-u-ues.
Smithers: Yours is a heavy burden, sir. Burns: I'm just getting started.
Burns: They make personal phone calls, On company time. They Xerox their buttocks, And guess who pays the dime.
Their blatant thievery wounds me, Their ingratitude astounds! I long to lure them to my home, And them release the hounds!
I shouldn't grow unsettled When faced with such abuse. I shouldn't let it plague me, I shouldn't blow a fuse.
Burns But, look at all those idiots, & Ooh, look at all those boobs. Back: An office full of morons, A factory full of fools. Is it any wonder, that I'm singing, Singing the blu-u-ues.
Burns: What happened? Where are the instruments? Smithers: I believe they call this a breakdown, sir. Burns: I can't have any breakdowns here! What if there was an inspector around? Play a guitar solo. Smithers: Ho. I'm a little out of practice, sir. Burns: I said do it! So, do it! do it! do it!! Smithers: Yes, sir. Ah-ha. Hahahaha. Burns: Yes, excellent. Well done. All right, it's beginning to grate. That'll be sufficient, Smithers. Smithers: Excuse me? Burns: I said that's enough! Smithers: Ooh! Sorry sir. Thought I had my mojo working. Burns: Humph.
Burns: That man by the cooler, Drinking water, as if it's free. Smithers: Oh. That's Homer Simpson, sir. A drone from sector 7-G.
Burns: Yes, well, call this Simpson to my office, And then stay to watch the fun. If he's six feet when he enters, He'll be two feet when I'm done. Smithers: Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Burns: It brings a ray of sunshine To my unhappy life, To make him kneel before me, And slowly twist the knife.
Burns Look at all those idiots, & D'oh, look at all those boobs. Back: An office full of morons, A factory full of fools. Is it any wonder, that I'm singing, Singing the blu-u-ues.
Smithers: Take me home, sir. Burns: I'm trying.
Burns Surrounded by idiots, & Outnumbered by boobs. Back: An office full of morons, A planet full of fools. Is it any wonder, I'm singing, Smithers: Maybe you should be singing, sir. Burns: Oh. Singing the blu-u-ues.
(Back: Look at all those idiots.) Smithers: Mr. Burns, you, you make Muddy Waters sound shallow and (Back: Office full of morons.) Smithers: cheerful, by comparison. Burns: Thank you, Smithers. Meaningless but (Back: Is it any wonder.) Burns: heartfelt compliment. I feel like I got a few things off my chest, and onto the chests of my inferiors. Smithers: You did. (Back: Look at all those idiots.) Burns: Why are they still playing? Smithers: Um... (Back: Office full of morons.) Burns: They're not still on salary, are they? Smithers: We're not validating their parking, sir. (Back: Is it any wonder.) Burns: They're paying for their own coffee, now.
Production Notes: Produced by John Boylan Associate Producer: Jai Winding Lead Vocals: Mr. Burns Guest Vocals: Smithers Harmony vocals: Timothy B. Schmit, Gerry Beckley, Lisa Angelle Guitar: Paul Jackson Jr., Michael Thompson Keyboards, Programming: John Capek, Jai Winding, John Boylan
Recorded at Lion Share Studios, West Hollywood Engineer: Guy DeFazio Mixed at The Complex, West Los Angeles Engineer: Mick Guzauski Assistant: Dave Levy
Written by Sam Simon / Jeff Martin / Jai Winding / John Boylan and Published (c) 1990 Coconino Music / Fox Film Music Corp. / Gracie Films Music / Great Eastern Music BMI / TCF Music Publishing Inc. / Tanko Music / Dobbs Music ASCAP
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