Captain Hampton And The Midget Pirates - текст песни
Captain Hampton And The Midget Pirates
Young Jim, as a lad
He looked for adventure
Calamity, danger, whatever was free
So when he turned ten, he packed his belongings
And he left home to find his destiny
Jim just a boy,
Who's head full of legends
Of dungeons, and dragons, and pirates, and stuff
So that summer he snuck on a schooner
To harpoon tuna
And get real buff
The Captain he said
There's danger ahead
We need some brave men
To sail and then
We'll find us those pirates
Stop them with violence,
To make the ocean safe
Once again."
Ahem. Now, the pirates the brave captain was looking for, were the fierce midget pirates of Willygoat. The deadliest pirates in the seven seas, and although they were wee men, they had big swords and were known for gutting many and leaving few alive. The captain knew they were heading towards the sandwich isles to pillage the giant ham farm. The captain knew what he must do, and this is his story.
It was horrible, they were everywhere, and unlike normal midgets who are
usually bright and clever and fun to be around, these midget pirates with their beady little eyes, and sharp teeth bore down on us like fierce sharks, in a feeding frenzy of blood. Slashing at us with their swords, gutting our bellies, poking our bums, clipping our knees. We knew not what to do, for the captain was nowhere to be found.
WHERE WAS THE CAPTAIN. WHERE WAS THE CAPTAIN. WHERE WAS THE CAPTAIN.
