Mosquito
Mosquito raped a chicken in the blueberry patch...
Seven days later the chiquitos hatched.
Grew up fast -- grew up mean
Tore a big hole in the window screen!
Sucked all the juice from a raspberry pie...
Caught up with the beagle and they left him dry
Drank a few pints from me and my mother,
Then they flew away with my little brother!
What's that noise comin' out of the blue
Like a squadron of B-52s?
Flock of chiquitos and they're flyin' low...
Death and destruction wherever they go!
Grab the kids and hide all the pets...
Get out the guns and the chiquito nets!
Board up the windows and sandbag the door,
Gotta get ready, get ready for war!
Nosin' for chiquitos on a hot summer night,
Cruisin the bush groves and shinin' the light
Wait till they land -- I shoot my gun.
I don't need the meat; I just hunt for fun!
Bagged me a trophy just last week:
Five foot wingspan and a six foot beak!
Shot that sucker in self-defense---
He was chewin' a hole through my chain link fence!
Two chiquitos knocked me down,
I played dead and I lay on the ground.
Ran for the house when I heard one say,
"Should we eat him here? Or fly him away?"
Chewed through the roof way up by the peak.
I grabbed a hammer and I bent in their beaks.
They lifted the roof, and they flew it away---
I found my shingles in Shelter Bay
What's that noise comin' out of the blue
Like a squadron of B-52s?
Flock of chiquitos and they're flyin' low...
Death and destruction wherever they go!
Grab the kids and hide all the pets...
Get out the guns and the chiquito nets!
Board up the windows and sandbag the door,
Gotta get ready, get ready for war!
Nosin' for chiquitos on a hot summer night,
Cruisin the bush groves and shinin' the light
Wait till they land -- I shoot my gun.
I don't need the meat; I just hunt for fun!
Bagged me a trophy just last week:
Five foot wingspan and a six foot beak!
Shot that sucker in self-defense---
He was chewin' a hole through my chain link fence!
Two chiquitos knocked me down,
I played dead and I lay on the ground.
Ran for the house when I heard one say,
"Should we eat him here? Or fly him away?"
Chewed through the roof way up by the peak.
I grabbed a hammer and I bent in their beaks.
They lifted the roof, and they flew it away---
I found my shingles in Shelter Bay
What's that noise comin' out of the blue
Like a squadron of B-52s?
Flock of chiquitos and they're flyin' low...
Death and destruction wherever they go!
Grab the kids and hide all the pets...
Get out the guns and the chiquito nets!
Board up the windows and sandbag the door,
Gotta get ready, get ready for war!
-Da Yoopers
(reproduced without permission, for educational purposes)
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