(Cough) Whoa, I'm having a strange dream, man! But the flowers smell so good, I'm getting pretty tired, and they smell so good I'm just gonna stretch out again in this little field of
POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! Dorothy! Dorothy! Dorothy! (SNIFFFFFFF) DOROTHY! DOROTHY! DOROTHY! (mumble, mumble) Along came old man in an El Dorado II, screeched to a halt, An old man with a big red nose Toking a bottle of Yukon Jack Strolled up to me and said, "Son." I said, "Old man, don't bother me. POPPIES, MMMMMMMMM!" He said, "T-Bone!" I said, "Wait a minute, this old man knows my name, he must be THE WIZARD!" It must be the Wizard The Wizard of Oz Why have you come to haunt me? O, Wizard of Oz. I said, "O, Wizard, old-wise-one, I've been on a quest To dream the impossible dream Walking down the road again, doo-dah, doo-dah And I met these little people We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, They said follow the yellow brick road Follow, follow, follow And I got tired POPPIES! POPPIES! (etc.) Lord, o lord, I've been through hell!" He said, "Slow down, son, relax." I said, "But, wizard, I have come so far to find the truth of life!" He said, "Slow down, son, you've got me all wrong. You see, how can I put this to you. I've been sitting in this field for a long time, myself, and I've come to find the only truth is here in this bottle." I said, "Wizard!" He said, "No, truly, son. In fact, I'd rather have this bottle in front of me than A FRONTAL LOBOTOMY!" How profound, Wizard!
Some girl with psychic power, she said, "T-Bone, what's your sign?" I blink and answer, "Neon!" I thought I'd blow her mind. She's reading Moby Dick by some fruitcake named Herman, She's chomping on a knockwurst, was the duchess really German? You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose? Is this really Butte, Montana, or just existential blues?
Really Butte, Montana? Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies? Is this schizoid paranoia?
(Star Trek-like sound effects)
La-la-la-la-la-la-la, existential blu-uuu-uuues!
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